5 Key People You Need In Your Life

Hey! In the spirit of the new year, I’m dusting off an “oldie, but a goodie” for you…

Are you familiar with the concept that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with?

The statement was most notably credited to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, relating to the “law of averages” and the theory that the result of any given situation will be the average of all of the potential outcomes.

Captivation Agency has been a creative production partner to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Sarasota and DeSoto Counties for over 20 years, and back in 2022, I was fortunate to have spent time with my colleagues and dear friends at the 116th Annual Conference for the Boys & Girls Clubs of America in Chicago.

During our time, many of us shared the opportunity to attend a breakout session that was led by the charismatic, Stacey Flowers – an accomplished entrepreneur, writer, speaker, coach, and mom.

Building on Jim Rohn’s statement from above, Stacey leaned further into the subject, explaining in her talk that, in order to drive your professional/personal success and happiness, those 5 key people that Jim mentioned should be represented by the following personas:

• A cheerleader

• A mentor

• A coach

• A friend, and

• A peer

She then began describing the above personas to the audience – assigning a finger on her hand for each. Let’s take a deeper look at them below.

The Cheerleader (Your Thumb)

This person’s sole role in your life is to root for you in every way possible.

They are there to encourage you and celebrate every win, every obstacle you overcome.

Although they are your biggest fan, they do not provide any guidance along the way, as that is the role of our next persona – the “mentor”.

The Mentor (Your Pointer Finger)

Stacey shares that the role of your mentor is to understand where you are wanting to go, and working with you to help get there.

If you begin to veer off the decided path, your mentor is there to bring you back to center and realign your focus on your target goals and ultimate destination.

Unlike our next persona, their role in your life is one of guidance.

The Coach (Your Middle Finger)

Holding up her middle finger to the room, Stacey shares “Now, the coach, is by design on this finger, because he/she is meant to make you a little uncomfortable…”

After a brief pause for some chuckles from the audience, she goes on to explain that the role of the coach is to help you maximize your potential and make things happen.

Your coach is someone who will understand your goals, and while pushing you to achieve them, he/she will also ensure you are thinking about how your efforts impact the rest of your team.

This may involve encouraging you to try a new position when they see something in you that you don’t.

The Friend (Your Ring Finger)

This persona is represented by your ring finger, as it is the only one of your fingers that has a vein that connects all the way to your heart. The role of the friend is to know you for you, who you truly are, your quirks, and what makes you tick.

They are the one who sees the [real] you and loves you regardless.

When things get tough, you can confide in them without shame or prejudice.

The Peer (Your Pinky Finger)

Like the people you might find yourself with at high tea (pinkies out!), your peer is there to help you in social situations.

Unlike your friend, your peer is someone who resides in the same industry you do. They know and understand the struggles you will incur, because those same struggles have also happened to them.

Stacey goes on to say that “your friend is always connected to your truest heart’s desire, and your peer will always keep your head in the game.”

“But What If I Have One Person that Represents 2 of the Personas Above?”

As the law of averages from before states, you are the sum of those people you spend the most time with, so by lowering the number of people, you lower your average of support.

It’s also important to remember that assigning more than one role per person places additional strain on your relationships.

“Do You Tell People What Role They Play in Your Life?”

Ideally, you wouldn’t tell the people around you that they hold a specific role or position in your life (like you’ve just given them a job title), as it can create additional stress and strain for them trying to uphold this newly revealed responsibility when, in reality, what they have been doing all along has been exactly enough.

“What About “Cyber” Roles?”

During her talk, Stacey mentioned having Beyonce as her “cyber mentor”.

Although she and Beyonce have never met (yet), nor have they ever talked, Stacey asks herself questions and imagines how Beyonce would answer them – in the role of a mentor.

Putting It to Practice…

Since sharing this talk with others, as well as thinking more about it myself, a common thread seems to be that only a very small amount of people can definitively account for all 5 roles off the top of their head.

BUT, that’s not the point.

The point is, now that you know what to look for, it will be easier to find and fill those roles. 2025 is your year to stack the deck.

Here’s to you finding your 5.

Kind Regards,

Jim @ Captivation Agency

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